Pair of Cunts

What a pair of cunts. Firstly, ‘thanks’ to Chris Moyles. Two fucking weeks listening to that shite Scott Mills on Radio 1 every morning while Moyles jolly’s around the world holidaying on our BBC licence fee. Yes I know he pays the outdated TV tax too, but unlike us, he gets a £700,000 rebate every year. Fat Bastard.

DJ Moyles negotiates new contract with Radio 1 boss

Second, the twat on the reception of the Travelodge in North London who fucked up my booking, charged my Visa card twice, then stuck me in a mouldy shoe box sized cell for the night.
Just for the record, if you are so desperate as to stay the night there, he was the one with the face that looked like a dog licking piss off a nettle.

Travelodge - Crap

Michael Jackson got skin cancer, but he reckons he can beat it, just beat it! Talking of abused kids, Sainsbury’s are offering Innocent Kid’s juices. Jacko and Gary Glitter will be fighting for the last pack.

Sweet

Britney. Fuckable

Jackson. Fucked up.

You can say what you want about silicone addict Katie Price and husband Peter Andre, but at least their marriage lasted longer than Jade Goody’s.
Poor pete must be gutted though. No sex for 4 months! Jordan’s a slapper of a misses anyway, but worst of all the dickhead signed a pre-nup – he won’t get a penny of the tarts £40million.
One way he could make a few quid though… Apparently the bookies are now taking bets on Madonna adopting Harvey.

Jordan - Not drunk. Not ugly.

Just to take your mind off the above picture, Government Ministers bogus (fraudulent!) expense claims and the recession (swine flu’s been forgotten already), go ahhh at the cutsey pic of a little girl…

No Fucking Fun.

British tax payers forking out their hard earned for MP’s to pay for their porn films, Tampax, plasma TV’s, horse manure, etc, etc, etc!!! Gordon Brown’s fucked. This country’s fucked.

STFU

I resisted for months, then in a moment of weakness, (six pints of Stella) I typed ‘Twitter’ into Firefox.
I chose a shit username – All the decent ones had gone – Jesus (“Hanging around, biting my nails”…), The Queen (“Just had a dolphin sandwich and now walking the corgi’s”) Adolf Hitler, etc…. I signed up, typed an obscene message, then promptly sobered up and forgot about it.
There, I admitted it. I’ll go to heaven now.

Twatter