I wanted to resist talking about swine flu.
Thing is, when my girlfriend phoned to say she was scared to put fuel in the car in case she caught the pig flu virus I thought I’d mention it. She was heading for the petrol station absolutely terrified. That is until I explained the bug came from Mexico NOT Texaco!
Apparently she’d also tried to ring the swine flu hot-line, but no one answered… All she got was crackling.
Perhaps she should be more concerned about the new diet drug, Alli thats just been launched. It’s available without a visit to the doctor and makes your shit greasy. It also makes you thinner so be careful!

Yes, it is the same girl.