For those of you old enough to have tugged the todger while she modelled knickers and bra’s for Playtex, here’s a quick thought…

Wouldn’t it be great if Ulrika Jonsson married Real Madrid midfielder Kaka?

John Leslie is Innocent (Josef Fritzel too)

And, talking about overpaid, lazy, arrogant, greasy cunts,

Here’s one to sing on the terraces of Old Trafford…

You put your transfer in, your transfer out, in out in out you fuck your club about,
You do the Cristiano and you change your mind, that’s what its all about!
Ohhh Ronaldo is a wanker – Ohhh Ronaldo is a wanker – Ohhh ronaldo is a wanker…
Knees bent, arms stretched DIVE DIVE DIVE!

Ron’s had a few tasty birds in the past, but now he’s shagging Paris Hilton – Ironic really, his career’s been hampered by video evidence of him going down easily, whereas hers…
To be honest though, nobody’s fooled. Seen pictured recently in a skin tight – nipple rubbing polo shirt, Soprano inducing nylon shorts, and a pink cap complete with matching  flower accessory… That’s evidence enough, but the icing on the cake – waxed legs.

Waxed legs for fucks sake! You don’t need to be Einstein.

Cristiano Ronaldo does not pack fudge (allegedly)