I tried a new social networking tool over the weekend. It’s known commonly as ‘going outdoors and fucking meeting people’.
The GF dragged me down London to the Take That circus concert thing at Wembley Stadium. 80,000 teenage girls, and a handfull of us beered up blokes.
Felt like a pork pie at a Jewish wedding, but with tits ‘n’ arse everywhere I coped.
Only when I got in and James Morrison came on stage did I realise the next ’support’ act was Lady GaGa. Lady fucking GaGa for christ sake! Now usually I’d fall in a barrel of tits and come out sucking my thumb…
Take Twat
When I was a kid the ‘two twat tango’ ( a lesbian act, apparently) was up there with the ‘five knuckle shuffle’ (wanking). Funny how the advertisers minds work!
Scanned Pussy
Why would anyone want to scan their pussy and email it to suck my dick?
It’s beyond me, but keep ‘em coming 
Too much sexcercise makes your eyes red
Ever wish that for once you were the person looking through the camera lens?
Jesus, what’d you do first? Lick, rub, poke, kiss, stroke…???
